Grief.
It’s finally here.
Welcome. I needed the tears.
I’m grieving the home that I left,
the life that is no longer here,
and the Me that no longer exists.
nobody promised that you will feel comfortable
Staying in the comfort zone is the preferred option for a lot of people these days. Because most people are afraid of being emotionally uncomfortable. They expect that a therapy session has to be pleasant and make them feel good.
But the work of a therapist isn’t to make you feel good. A therapist’s job is to assist you in finding your truth by revealing your bling spots and help you see what you don’t want to see. That, of course, can be very unpleasant.
But nobody promised that you will feel comfortable while doing deep inner work.
Inner works isn’t comfortable. It isn’t joyful. At least not in the beginning.
It’s not comfortable to look at yourself and to honestly evaluate your behavior. It’s not comfortable to get to know yourself and to own what you may dislike in yourself.
Wearing a mask is comfortable. Hiding is comfortable. Ignoring your Shadow Self and pretending it’s not there is more comfortable than looking at it and shining light on aspects of you that you would rather not see.
And yes, having a glass of wine to sooth the pain and continue living in denial is more comfortable than looking at the darkest corners of your being, changing destructive habits or becoming aware of self-sabotaging patterns.
It is uncomfortable to grow. It is uncomfortable to choose the higher road.
But it is far more rewarding.
Vesak
Happy Vesak to all my Buddhist friends!
Vesak, the full moon in May, is one of the most impressive, truly magical and beautiful celebrations I have EVER seen. It is an important spiritual celebration, rejoicing in the birth and enlightenment of Buddha, as well as making time for reflection on his death. Vesak is of religious significance for Buddhists all over the world, but in Sri Lanka it is what Christmas is to the West. People prepare for Vesak celebrations for a long time. Lanterns made from bamboo frames in different shapes and covered in colored tissue paper are hung inside every home. Complex and imaginative illuminated displays decorate the streets, making the night seem truly magical and as if illuminated by spiritual glow. I will have to dig out some of the amazing photos I have taken during the time I lived there and the Vesak celebration I was lucky to witness.
Colorful Vesak lanterns in the shape of lotus floating on lake water in Sri Lanka
There are also massive pandals or thoranas installed in public spaces, they attract massive crowds. These are large structures with picture panels elaborately decorated with colored electric bulbs that are lit in a sequence to form vibrant patterns. Pandals depict a story from the life of Buddha or his previous births and the relevant stories are recited through verse over megaphones.
love is the best thing we do, and also the most frightening
We all long for deeply satisfying, fully intimate love. But most of us spend more time struggling with loneliness, disconnection and hurt feelings than enjoying the joyous celebration that love can be.
What causes this disconnect? Why is it that what we most deeply want is also so hard to get and keep?
Here is the reason: love has the power to bring up all of our hidden desires, our deepest longings, and our past hurts.
It acts as a cosmic searchlight, revealing problems we aren’t aware of and they wreak havoc on great relationships.
These problems manifest themselves as symptoms like withdrawal, anger, anxiety, irritation and loneliness.
Most of the time, we don’t even realize what’s happening. All we know is that our partner seems suddenly distant and inconsiderate, or we feel an undercurrent of anger and disgust with them.
We don’t know that our hidden emotions and fears are at work.
We react to the symptoms, and ignore the real cause.
We unintentionally shut love out, instead of letting it in.
Learning to love yourself means developing a warm embrace and a firm hand. it is about treating yourself with kindness, gentleness and care while being merciless in your demand to be true to your highest ideals.
EVERY TIME YOU EXPAND YOR ABILITY TO LOVE YOURSELF, YOU OPEN THE POSSIBILITY OF BEING LOVED MORE BY OTHERS!
So let's begin.
In loving. Gina
what happens when there is a low level of self-love
Let’s look into what happens when there is a low level of self-love.
You constantly criticize yourself.
You don’t believe that you are worthy.
You are excessively hard on yourself, even if you find it easy to be compassionate towards others.
You don't believe in yourself.
It is hard for you to know what you need.
When you look in the mirror, all you see are your imperfections.
You operate out of fear of rejection.
You neglect self-care.
You downplay your gifts, talents and abilities.
You have low self-confidence.
You feel lonely or bored over long periods of time.
You constantly crave the approval of others.
These are only a few examples, and certainly not the full list of symptoms. We will go in depth into all of these, and more, in the course of the live group coaching event.
Learning to love yourself means to develop a warm embrace and a firm hand. It is about treating ourselves with kindness and tenderness while being merciless in your commitment to be true to your highest ideals.
EVERY TIME YOU EXPAND YOR ABILITY TO LOVE YOURSELF, YOU OPEN YOURSELF TO BEING LOVED MORE BY OTHERS!
So let's begin.
benefits to loving all of you
An increased ability to love yourself more deeply can have a tremendous positive impact on your life.
Here are some of the possible benefits that you may derive from participating in Self-Love as a Way to Happiness live group coaching experience:
You become happier as a person because you are able to accept your flaws, imperfections and uniqueness
By accepting yourself, you become more accepting of others
Your health and wellbeing improve
You become more positive and kind
You are able to practice forgiveness and compassion
You enhance your ability to receive love because you know that you are deserving and worthy
You choose more compatible lovers and romantic partners
You align with your higher purpose and live a fulfilling life
These are only a few examples.
During the live group coaching we will go in depth into all the ways in which you can love yourself.
EVERY TIME YOU EXPAND YOR ABILITY TO LOVE YOURSELF, YOU OPEN THE POSSIBILITY OF BEING LOVED MORE BY OTHERS!
So let's begin.
the eight meanings for the word love
We often misunderstand the word love. More often than not, we think of it as romantic love. But the Greek philosophers have detected 8 different kinds of love and have different words for different expressions of love.
Knowing these different aspects of love can come in handy whenever you feel confused or hurt in your relationships. You can refer back to these different aspects of love, to more clearly understand another and effectively communicate your own feelings.
As you read, notice how they give us new distinction and appreciation for all the dimensions of love. Here they are:
EROS (ἔρως érōs) is romantic, sexual, passionate erotic love. This kind of tantalizing love is all about the pleasures of the flesh. Eros is about physical attraction and beauty. When it is unbalanced it becomes lust. In order to sustain this love, it’s essential to couple it with some of the other expressions of love.
PHILIA (φιλία philía) is deep friendship, the affectionate love we have with friends. It’s brotherly and sisterly love founded on a sense of equality and loyalty. Real friends support each other through the expression of this kind of love. They communicate openly. They hold each other up and relate in ways that inspire. When imbalanced, this kind of love becomes codependent.
PHILATIA (φίλαυτος) is self-love. Before we can really love another, it’s essential to authentically love and care for ourselves, and feel comfortable in our own skin. As with all else, there is a balanced and imbalanced expression of this kind of love as well. The imbalance is vanity and narcissism. The balanced version is to embrace all aspects of yourself with kindness and compassion.
Aristotle wrote, “All friendly feelings for others are an extension of a man’s feelings for himself.” He was not alone in those sentiments. The ancient Greeks see philautia as one of the most important kinds of love because they recognized that you cannot share what you do not have. Without love for yourself you cannot extend feelings of love in any form to anyone else.
MANIA means obsessive love. As its name suggests, feelings of mania evoke madness. This version of love usually stems from uncontrollable eros and a lack of healthy philautia.
LUDUS is playful love that brings a joyful sense of childlike innocence mixed with a tinge of Eros. Ludus could mean the playful love between children, but it’s more often a flirtatious love that expresses itself as lighthearted teasing. When you experience Ludus, you feel the juicy spark of excitement. It is rooted in fun and comes without any sense of obligation.
When out of balance, Ludus can express itself as insincere and fickle.
PRAGMA is a longstanding love that has matured over time. We see this expression of love in couples and friendships that have withstood the test of time. It is practical and cooperative, with qualities of patience and acceptance.
When imbalanced, it leads to rigid expectations.
STORGE (στοργή) means familial love. It is the primal, protective love that we feel for members of our family. This kind of love is rooted in kinship and allegiance. It’s the unspoken bond between two people that transcends both friendship and sexual attraction because it is driven by belonging and dependency. It is the love and affection that a parent has for her baby, and a child has for a parent, even when the child is not aware of its emotions. This kind of love possesses a strong sense of commitment and responsibility.
The imbalanced expression is smothering a child, influencing their path in a way that is not authentic to them, and creating dependence.
AGAPE (ἀγάπη) is a gift-love, the highest form of love. It is unconditional, selfless love for everyone. This is spiritual love. It expresses itself as infinite compassion. It is transcendent and all-encompassing. Translated into latin as caritas and forming the root of the word charity, Agape is a pay-it-forward approach to love, where you show a universal kindness to others.
There you have it!
May the love within your heart be amplified!
To learn more about the live online group coaching
that begins on April 15, 2023 at 10am -12noon
Meanwhile GO LOVE!
take back your personal power
The time has come to take back your personal power with the love you hold within your heart.
I am offering a live online experience meant as a reminder to stop listening to the negative voices in your head and to connect with the innate and infinite love, wisdom, and light that you hold within yourself.
We begin on April 15 and will meet for 8 weeks.
10am-12pm EST. 7am-9am PST.
Starting your Self-love journey is a sound investment in your future. It’s also an emotional time that is going to require clarity, energy, and guidance.
Having a guide by your side while you learn to love yourself fully can help with specific situations such as healing, discovering your needs, forgiving yourself, or reconnecting with your inner child.
Benefit #1
Silence the Inner Critic and take charge of your life.
Benefit #2
Release lower vibrational energies and negativity.
Benefit #3
Activate healing on all levels of the mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual bodies.
Self-love is about knowing all the aspects of yourself and treating yourself with kindness and gentleness.
START TODAY.
when you don't love yourself
Life can be more of a struggle if you are in the habit of criticizing yourself. It is hard to function well when there is a part of you that acts as your greatest enemy.
When you don't love yourself fully, you experience problems in health, success, career, wealth and relationships.
You might remain stuck in negativity for years, without knowing how to help yourself out effectively.
This is one of the things we'll address in the live online group coaching experience I am offering this month.
If you are ready to break out the self-sabotaging patterns you might be stuck in, Self-Love as a Way to Happiness is for you!
we begin on April 15 and we’ll be meeting for 8 consecutive weeks.
10am-12pm EST
7am-9am PST
WHEN YOU EXPAND YOR ABILITY TO LOVE YOURSELF, YOU OPEN YOURSELF TO BEING LOVED MORE BY OTHERS!
So let's begin.
In loving. Gina
self-worth
When your sense of who you are is stable, real, positive and non-conflicting, you experience a sense of worth.
Many books have been written on the topic of love. Many programs and seminars have been created about loving another person. But the most basic kind of love, the love for yourself seems to have been overlooked.
My intention is to change this and to bring a practical approach to this important and significant issue. So I designed a course in which I'll teach you how to access your love for yourself! Because this is the basis of all love. It starts with getting to know yourself. It leads to happiness and a sense of fulfillment.
Look at where you struggle, where it’s not easy for you in your life and you will find hidden and most likely unconscious inner conflicts, judgments of your choices, or disapproval of how you are.
During the SELF-LOVE AS A WAY TO HAPPINESS live group coaching we will go in depth into all the ways in which we can release these blocks and learn how to love ourselves fully.
you need you
If you are accustomed to being a sanctuary for those in need of a safe place, it’s time to get serious about the kind of places you’ve created for yourself.
Before anybody else needs you, you need you. Before anybody else craves your attention, your love and your care, you do.
You know how much your support is worth because you see how many people it has drawn to you and kept around. Isn’t it time for you to learn how much your support is worth by being the one experiencing it?
When you are presented with opportunities to abandon yourself, opt to be a witness to yourself. Opt to be patient, open, and accepting of yourself instead. Opt to give yourself what you need. Bend over backwards for yourself.
Remember that the parts of you that you feel most inclined to avoid, ignore, push and wish away are the parts of you that need your love and attention the most.
Give yourself what you want from others!
During the SELF-LOVE AS A WAY TO HAPPINESS live group coaching we will uncover all the ways in which you can love yourself.
Learning to love yourself means developing a warm embrace and a firm hand. it is about treating yourself with kindness, gentleness and care while being merciless in your demand to be true to your highest ideals.
EVERY TIME YOU EXPAND YOR ABILITY TO LOVE YOURSELF, YOU OPEN THE POSSIBILITY OF BEING LOVED MORE BY OTHERS!
So let's begin.
In loving. Gina
we demand from others what we most need from ourselves
We demand from others what we are most unwilling to give ourselves.
We seek love from others and get mad at them when they don’t provide the kind of love we want.
Think of someone you really love with no conditions or strings attached. Notice the body feeling that goes when you think of that person. This body feeling is the attitude with which we need to embrace ourselves.
Self-love is about knowing all the aspects of yourself and treating yourself with kindness and gentleness.
START TODAY
change the destiny of humanity
Today many of us have the burning desire to love more deeply, live more fully, and find sustainable happiness. Yet the happiness and peace we seek continues to remain out of reach. The truth is that until we authentically learn to love ourselves and become our own best friends, we will not achieve that happiness.
When practiced with sincerity and commitment, being kind to yourself can change not only your life, but also the destiny of humanity.
It's through our Self-love that we are able to love the whole world.
During the Self-Love as a Way to Happiness program we will go in depth into all the ways in which we can love ourselves.
Self-love is about knowing all the aspects of yourself and treating yourself with kindness and gentleness.
EVERY TIME YOU EXPAND YOR ABILITY TO LOVE YOURSELF, YOU OPEN THE POSSIBILITY OF BEING LOVED MORE BY OTHERS!
So let's begin.
In loving. Gina
I am here to love. And so are you.
As a group facilitator, as well as in my private mentoring practice, I give a lot. I give freely, shamelessly and full-heartedly. And I also receive a lot.
In my younger years I was not able to give and receive love to this extent. I wanted to fit in. I wanted to belong. I wanted to be loved and accepted. So I limited myself in my expression and perhaps that resulted in a limited ability to receive the full scope of the love that was available to me.
Getting to know all aspects of myself and learning to lovingly accept the dark and the brilliant ones, showed me a way to align myself with who I truly am, and to begin living and expressing from my Authentic Self. With this came a peculiar kind of satisfaction, a sense of deep fulfillment that I have rarely experienced before.
Knowing my true identity opened the door to finding my life’s purpose—something that many of us struggle with. For many years I was convinced that I'm here to paint. It turns out that I am destined to love!
Practicing self-love taught me to witness without judging. I learned to remain present and open, and to accept what is.
Self-love taught me that I can love even when I think that I am not loved.
Self-love taught me that it is safe to love without expecting to be loved in return.
Self-love taught me to simply love. Unconditionally. Without agenda. Without expecting anything in return.
The paradox is that as I began to do this, I receive so much more! I receive more love now than I have ever received in my entire life!
I receive more satisfaction than I have received from winning top awards, coveted commissions, prestigious nominations, and valued public acknowledgements.
I love. I feel. I am happy. I feel fulfilled and alive. My heart remains open and fills up with love for everyone whom I encounter.
And I discover, again and again, that the only thing, which purifies and heals, is Love.
self-love as a way to happiness
Those of you who've been working with me know that my work is often focused on Self-love that leads to loving of others. We need both. We cannot truly love another without knowing, accepting and loving who we truly are.
Self love is not selfishness, but simply honoring the wholeness of what you call You. Self-love is a stepping stone to loving others in the deepest ways possible. Only when you love both—yourself and another, you can co-create meaningful and fulfilling relationships.
I have designed a transformational live online program in which I will take you through an eight-week process that will connect you with the voice of love within you.
I will give you tools that will help you to meet and neutralize the self-sabotaging voices of disapproval and self-criticism.
When you join me on this journey to Self-love
You will be more accepting of yourself and others.
You will stop judging yourself so harshly and fall in love with your life.
You will understand the cycles you are in, allowing you to flow with them instead of getting hit by the next wave.
Self-love is about knowing all the aspects of yourself and treating yourself with kindness and gentleness.
So let's begin!
why is it important to know yourself?
Why is it important to know yourself? Well, we can only love that, which we understand and know. Part of knowing yourself is knowing what you want and what you need, then ask for it.
You cannot get what you want and what you need if you don’t ask for it. (except by chance, rarely, sometimes).
Knowing yourself also helps with boundaries. If you don't know who you are, where you begin and end, and where the other person begins and ends, how are you going to set boundaries?
Knowing yourself is important for your happiness.
In order to be happy, you have to know what brings you joy and what brings you sorrow, what contributes to your wellbeing and what is detrimental to it.
Knowing yourself shapes up the choices that you make. When you know yourself, your choices become conscious. And you can never make a mistake when you make a choice consciously.
You always make the right choice when your choices are conscious. You make better choices when you know yourself, because you make choices that serve your wellbeing.
It’s the unconscious choices that hurt us.
how to create a more loving world
The last few years have been truly challenging for all of us. It is essential that we bring more love into this world. We must start with ourselves. I have prepared a group coaching experience that will teach you how to embody self-love, how to apply it in your day-to-day life so you can have more harmonious relationships with yourself and with others. Info here
the three components of feeling loved
There are three components of feeling loved.
The first component is to be heard. When you are heard, it restores the knowing that you are important, that you matter. This is what therapy does. This is also what close friends sometimes do.
But in order for you to be heard, you first have to express. No one can guess what you want or feel. You must communicate it in a clear way.
When you communicate in a clear way and you feel heard, there's a chance of being understood. To be understood accurately is to be seen.
To be seen is the second component of feeling loved. When you feel seen, it sends a message to your subconscious that you are okay.
The third component of feeling loved is to feel that you are received. This is a really important aspect of being loved. To be received means that you are acknowledged and accepted without judgment.
When you are acknowledged, you feel validated. Acknowledging the value of your expressed opinion or the value that you bring is what I call to be received.
When you feel validated by another, your subconscious receives the message that you are valuable and worthy. And when you experience being acknowledged and accepted, you feel that you matter.
And when all of these are integrated within you, you activate the healing power of love. You feel closeness, connectedness and trust. You simply know that you are loved.
When you experience being heard, seen and received, you feel deeply loved.
So these, my dear, are the main components of love.
new ebook to help you clear blocks to manifesting what you desire
Today is the Winter Solstice – the longest night and the shortest day of the year in the northern hemisphere. It marks the first day of winter.
It's a wonderful time to pause and journey deep within – to reflect, to integrate the lessons and experiences of the past year; to develop guiding principles based on what you’ve learned, and to clarify your vision for the next year, so you set yourself for success and fulfillment in 2023 and beyond.
To help you with it, I have prepared a short ebook that is intended to guide you in grounding, cleansing and balancing your Root Chakra—the energy center in which we manifest all that we envision.
If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, confused, hesitant, irritable or simply all over the place—you may have some blocks in your first chakra. So take a look at this simple, yet powerful guide to more balanced you. Remove the obstacles to manifesting what you desire by grounding yourself and balancing out that energy center in your body.
Check it out HERE
the key
The process of transformation from one state of being to another is never easy. It is only when we find a reconciliation between our material and divine nature, that we can become whole and heal our disconnection wound.
And this is precisely the task of this life.